The ice cream industry has always seemed a surprisingly tense environment. As you devour your 99 with a flake, it's easy to forget the bits you don't see - the strained relations that lurk behind the 'mind that child' signs, so to speak.
While we're willing to bet that the average ice cream van is a mild, well-natured chap who cares for his cones with a degree of love, there are always going to be a few that spoil the fun for everyone.
Just such a pair have been causing a stir in something of an ice cream turf war - fought over the apparent vanilla-with-some-sprinkles stronghold of Blackburn, Lancashire.
The rivalry, between Mr Whippy (aka Mohammed Mulla, 41) and Mr Yummy (Zaheer Ramzan, 32), elevated to a point where the latter smashed the driver's side window of his counterpart's van - an act caught on video by a bemused local resident on June 2 this year.
In response, and based on logic we can't quite understand, Mulla drove straight into the back of the rival salesman's Transit - appearing to cause more damage to his own vehicle, if anything.
With that done, it seems the pair were happy with each's slice of 'justice', simply driving off with not another word exchanged.
Unfortunately for Ramzan, Blackburn magistrates weren't quite so satisfied - finding him guilty of assault. According to The Times, he'd even tried to fib about the incident: reporting Mulla to the police for driving into his van 'unprovoked'. He faces a jail term when he appears in court again next month for sentencing.
We've included the strangely fascinating video below but, let's not forget: Regardless of the industry, this sort of offence isn't a laughing matter. Or at least, that's what we keep telling ourselves.