For the second day running we get the privilege of reporting on a survey designed to sell someone's wares. This time it's GEM Motoring Assist, they of the car recovery game, willing to recover your car should it break down, in exchange for some sort of financial covenant.

GEM's survey reckons that 99 percent of drivers know where to find the dipstick in their car, and 94 percent know how to change a tyre.

Weirdly, that's in stark contrast to a recent Kwik Fit survey that we turned into news, which suggested most drivers are incapable of changing a punctured tyre. And also to this brilliant piece of press releasery, which said that hardly anyone an do an oil change.

It's almost as though companies make this stuff up to suit their corporate message. Nah...we can't believe that...we won't...

GEM's revelations, based on a survey of 800 drivers, keep going: 95 percent of drivers know how to jump-start a car. Go British drivers!

David Williams of GEM said: "We're really pleased to see such a positive set of results from our latest survey. Amid all the doom and gloom of the economy, rising petrol prices and maintenance costs, it's great to know that drivers are more than capable of running simple car maintenance on their cars themselves."

What? Well that's not going to sell any breakdown policies, is it? Oh, hang on, there's more...

"However, we would always advise motorists to seek professional advice and servicing for persistent or more complex problems with their cars. Similarly, regular maintenance and checks will help avoid more serious and damaging problems to a vehicle in the long run."

Eh? Neither is that. Well done. GEM! Our cynicism is abated.

Anyway, the lovely folk at GEM sell breakdown cover from £68.95 for a single person...oh crap. Damn you, GEM!