Geneva Motor Show: Audi RS4 and TT RS Plus
"It's an Audi RS4. I'm the one that looks like a diesel repmobile estate but have a 444bhp 4.2-litre V8 under my bonnet, and will beat most stuff in a straight line race, even with a boot full of puppies."
"That's too much information. Just 'RS4' would have done, but I do like the sound of you."
So yes, this is the Audi RS4, which will only be sold as an Avant (estate), wearing a £55,000 price tag.
The engine, in defiance of recent trend, is a non-turbo eight-cylinder screamer with an 8,250rpm limiter. It sends the estate to 62mph from rest in 4.7 seconds - a couple of tenths faster than the last RS4, which was introduced a dozen years ago and had 414bhp.
It's limited to 155mph, although punters can have the limiter taken off for a 164mph top speed.
Audi's seven-speed twin-clutch auto feeds power to all four wheels, though up to 85 percent of it can go to the rear wheels, so it's technically suitable for epic powersliding.
Heck, it will even apply a dab of oppo by itself if you can't handle business, thanks to clever electronic programming of the steering rack.
Sizeable 19-inch alloys are the norm, although the vast majority of RS4s sold are likely to be on optional 20s. It goes on sale in the Autumn...
Before that, the TT RS Plus will arrive, which despite sounding like a trim level is actually a proper, uprated version of the TT RS. It gets an extra 20bhp and 11lb.ft of torque over the 'standard' car, giving it 355bhp and 343lb.ft totals.
Its aim is to make the Porsche Boxster S seem puny, beating it down by way of sheer brawn - it has over 40bhp more.
Aside from the power it gets a louder exhaust, with a flap that opens on full throttle, and revises suspension to cope with the extra bite.
The TT RS Plus puts a 4.1-second 0-62mph time in (the convertible version a tenth slower), and tops out at 174mph.
It goes on sale in April, for a little over £50,000.
Your fill of Geneva Motor Show 2012 news can be found here.